This waiting thing is ridiculous. I had an ultrasound when sweet baby was but a lentil. Well now the nugget is the size of a small lime, and should be rockin it like a jumbo shrimp by next week. This is all well and good, but i have to say that i want to know what jumbo shrimp will become? Boy? Girl? Gaby was saying that at her ultrasound - they do the nuchal translucency test - they told her that her little one MIGHT be a boy. But the ho that did my last us was all kinda frosty, like she could care less. So im doubting she'd surmise on the gender of little lentil.
I cant stand it!
I dont care what i have. I am excited for either... but i just want SOME kind of idea, ya know? Just a little chance!
I do remember Linda Hosteen (Thompson in our younger days) screamed to me not to have a baby when she was in labor. I defied her and here I am, but I have to say after the first trimester, I do wonder what she was griping about. If you packed the angony of the first months into one day, they would surely trump labor tenfold. Ok, I havent given labor yet, but Im sayin.
What freaks me out the most is episiotomy and the concept of an enema. Is that sad? I dont know. But i hate the idea of my perfectly pristine nether region being CUT - or otherwise TORN - even with the joy of a small wonder entering this world. I know I'll feel differently, but STILL! YIKES! And I worry that they'll leave too much slack and my nether will be all droopy and hangy. Ok, Im being graphic, but its a real fear. Stretch marks? Ok. Vericose veins? Sure. Flappy skin? Fine. But darning my naughty bits?! AWW MAN! NO!
In other news, we ARE getting married in June... going to make an honest woman of me - if you can call it that. Shirl says I ought not wear white. I told her that if white = virginity, her wedding dress shoulda been a deep brown! ahhahahahha! Thats not true. Shirl was pure when she vowed to Bob Gill, but I have to mock to draw attention away from my filthy manners of way back. The wedding itself is going to be smaller than the reception... we want a select few there for the vows. But afterward, a nice big old reception for a crew of many. That should be lively... and nervewracking. My mom is coming in a few days early. I am really looking forward to that. Mom and i have had so few mother / daughter moments. I am not good at relying on her and she really loves to be relied upon, so I am looking forward to being in a position to let her do what she does best. Shes a great mom. I hope I am half the mother she is to me. I know I wont put up with the same kind of crap that I gave her, but thats because in retrospect, i think she deserved much better than i gave her, and i dont want my little one to regret his or her behavior when my age. That is a sucky feeling.
Ok, I suppose i should go. Ive blabbe enough and want to still have something else to say in the coming days.
Love,
Sara
No comments:
Post a Comment