Let's talk about sex...

... or shall we say, GENDER!

This waiting thing is ridiculous. I had an ultrasound when sweet baby was but a lentil. Well now the nugget is the size of a small lime, and should be rockin it like a jumbo shrimp by next week. This is all well and good, but i have to say that i want to know what jumbo shrimp will become? Boy? Girl? Gaby was saying that at her ultrasound - they do the nuchal translucency test - they told her that her little one MIGHT be a boy. But the ho that did my last us was all kinda frosty, like she could care less. So im doubting she'd surmise on the gender of little lentil.

I cant stand it!

I dont care what i have. I am excited for either... but i just want SOME kind of idea, ya know? Just a little chance!

I do remember Linda Hosteen (Thompson in our younger days) screamed to me not to have a baby when she was in labor. I defied her and here I am, but I have to say after the first trimester, I do wonder what she was griping about. If you packed the angony of the first months into one day, they would surely trump labor tenfold. Ok, I havent given labor yet, but Im sayin.

What freaks me out the most is episiotomy and the concept of an enema. Is that sad? I dont know. But i hate the idea of my perfectly pristine nether region being CUT - or otherwise TORN - even with the joy of a small wonder entering this world. I know I'll feel differently, but STILL! YIKES! And I worry that they'll leave too much slack and my nether will be all droopy and hangy. Ok, Im being graphic, but its a real fear. Stretch marks? Ok. Vericose veins? Sure. Flappy skin? Fine. But darning my naughty bits?! AWW MAN! NO!

In other news, we ARE getting married in June... going to make an honest woman of me - if you can call it that. Shirl says I ought not wear white. I told her that if white = virginity, her wedding dress shoulda been a deep brown! ahhahahahha! Thats not true. Shirl was pure when she vowed to Bob Gill, but I have to mock to draw attention away from my filthy manners of way back. The wedding itself is going to be smaller than the reception... we want a select few there for the vows. But afterward, a nice big old reception for a crew of many. That should be lively... and nervewracking. My mom is coming in a few days early. I am really looking forward to that. Mom and i have had so few mother / daughter moments. I am not good at relying on her and she really loves to be relied upon, so I am looking forward to being in a position to let her do what she does best. Shes a great mom. I hope I am half the mother she is to me. I know I wont put up with the same kind of crap that I gave her, but thats because in retrospect, i think she deserved much better than i gave her, and i dont want my little one to regret his or her behavior when my age. That is a sucky feeling.

Ok, I suppose i should go. Ive blabbe enough and want to still have something else to say in the coming days.

Love,
Sara

sick n tired of being sick n tired...

Well we're at the one step forward two steps back phase. Things are subsiding and I am feeling more like myself, but all in all its still kinda sucky. I dont have much to add cause I am still waiting for the end of this trimester, the next ultrasound, a flutter, the gender, or something such as that. ICK. Flat on my back again today and its depressing.

UGH!

Well today I done told my boss I was pregnant, but not for the reason i wanted... i told him because he told ME he is leaving our little company to move on to bigger and better things! :( This bums me out big time. I love the guy. Most of my peers freak when their sales managers travel with them, but I actually looked forward to the time he spent with me. He always tried to make the best of it, and even when i wasnt on the ball, he tried to make each time a learning experience. So anyway, I figured I would check in with him to see what the president of the company would think when i told him. He said I am golden, and not to worry. So thats good.

I felt wayyyyyyy better today. I had some caffeine and a walk this am, then a little more caffeine and some gas-x and ginger chews this eve and I feel way better. Of course, I have to say NOTHING but bland carbs and watered down apple juice appeal to me. I made enchiladas for my poor beleagured sweetheart - hes as worn out by MY pregnancy as i am - but i cant bear to think about eating any. its funny to me that i thought i was above this business - i thought that people who had morning sickness just werent eating in the am... didnt even know about the gas, and i even thought the tired thing was a cop out. Boy was i wrong. What can i say? Ill never look at a pregnant woman the same way again.

Our other baby - Racey - has an operation tomorrow to remove two little tumors. We hemmed and hawed, but decided this would be our last repair job in hopes that we can prolong her life and love her a little longer. She can be neurotic and pesky, but we love her and we really enjoy having her around. And the thing is, shes got the spirit of a puppy so we cant see letting her go until she seems to slow down.

Guess thats is for now. More complaining later. ;)

Love,
Sara

It all starts here...

So what you're seeing here is a flattering photo of my uterus... apparently a warm, soft and ever-so-accomodating place in which to grow a little eensy weensy Ward. Thats right, folks... my betrothed and I are expecting, and we're pretty jazzed. I would have "blogged" sooner, but for starters, i didnt want to jinx it. And then there is this magical pregnancy thing... the most wonderful time in a woman's life, which - as far as i have been able to tell - has manifested itself in constant nausea, UNHEARD OF GAS, and the most frustrating - unrelenting fatigue. My mom told me i need to change my attitude because this is a wonderful mystical time but I feel like poo, so the change of attitude will have to wait. That being said, I am so grateful to be able to carry this little nugget, and we are EAGERLY anticipating the arrival of a happy healthy baby roundabout Halloween. :)

I am now in my 10th week. The midwife says that the nasty first trimester symptoms will go away soon and ill be free to enjoy a bit of freedom before i get really big! I am half freaked, but looking forward to a tummy as it will prove that this thing IS growing.

Alright... well... we'll get to more later. Appreciate and admire my lovely uterus and the tiny little baby that is growing inside!

Love,
Sara